Congratulations, mama! You've just embarked on one of life's most incredible journeys—motherhood. But if you're also walking the path of sobriety, you know that this journey comes with unique challenges. As you navigate the sleepless nights, endless diaper changes, and overwhelming love, staying sober might seem like an exhausting task. But fear not, because you're not alone, and there are practical steps you can take to thrive in early motherhood while staying true to your sobriety.
Understanding Addiction: What Causes It and How to Recognize the Signs of Relapse
Addiction is complex, often rooted in a combination of genetic, environmental, and psychological factors. For many mothers, the pressures of parenthood can exacerbate underlying issues such as stress, anxiety, and low self-esteem, making them more susceptible to turning to substances as a coping mechanism. From the moment you find out you're pregnant to the sleepless nights of caring for a newborn, the demands of motherhood can feel overwhelming at times, triggering the urge to seek relief in old habits.
So, how do you know if you're starting to slip into the relapse process? The signs can vary from person to person, but common red flags include:
Increased cravings or thoughts about using substances to cope with stress or negative emotions.
Example: "I find myself fantasizing about having a glass of wine after a particularly rough day with the baby. Is this a sign that I'm starting to slip?"
Engaging in risky behaviors or spending time with people who enable or encourage substance use.
Example: "I've been reconnecting with old friends who still drink heavily, and I'm worried that being around them will tempt me to relapse."
Neglecting self-care and responsibilities, such as missing appointments or neglecting household chores, due to preoccupation with substance use or low mood.
Example: "I've been skipping my therapy sessions and letting the housework pile up because I'd rather spend my time drinking or using."
If you recognize any of these warning signs in yourself, it's essential to take action before it's too late. Reach out to your support system, whether it's your sponsor, therapist, or a trusted friend, and be honest about what you're going through. Remember, relapse is not a sign of failure—it's a sign that you need additional support and coping mechanisms to navigate the challenges of sobriety in early motherhood.
5 Ways to Stay Sober in Early Motherhood
Embrace the Rollercoaster of Emotions
Let's face it—motherhood is a whirlwind of emotions. From the euphoria of holding your newborn for the first time to the frustration of endless crying spells, your emotions are on a wild rollercoaster ride. And for someone in recovery, these emotional highs and lows can trigger the urge to numb out with substances.
Actionable Takeaway: Instead of bottling up your emotions, lean into them. Find healthy ways to express your feelings, whether by journaling, talking to a trusted friend, or seeking therapy. Remember, it's okay to feel overwhelmed, but how you cope with those feelings matters.
Build Your Support System
They say it takes a village to raise a child; the same goes for staying sober in motherhood. Surround yourself with people who support your journey to sobriety, whether it's your partner, family members, friends, or fellow moms in recovery.
Actionable Takeaway: Don't be afraid to ask for help when needed. Whether it's a babysitter for a few hours so you can attend a support group meeting or a shoulder to lean on during a rough day, lean on your support system. And remember, it's not a sign of weakness to ask for help—it's a sign of strength.
Practice Self-Care (Without the Wine)
As a new mom, self-care often takes a backseat to the needs of your little one. But prioritizing your own well-being is crucial, especially when you're navigating sobriety. However, self-care doesn't have to involve a glass of wine or a night out on the town. To cope, you don’t have to fall into the “Mommy Wine” culture.
Actionable Takeaway: Find healthy ways to recharge your batteries, whether it's taking a hot bath, going for a walk in nature, practicing mindfulness or meditation, or indulging in a good book. Remember, self-care isn't selfish—it's essential for your mental and emotional health.
Create Boundaries and Stick to Them
In early motherhood, everyone seems to have an opinion on how you should raise your child. But as a sober mom, it's essential to establish boundaries to protect your recovery. Boundaries are who and what you choose to give your power to. Knowing what you value and the values you want to instill in your kids, increases motivation to set even the most difficult of boundaries.
Actionable Takeaway: Politely but firmly assert your boundaries with friends, family members, and even healthcare professionals. Let them know that you appreciate their input, but ultimately, you're making the best choices for yourself and your baby. And if someone or something threatens your sobriety, don't hesitate to remove yourself from the situation.
Celebrate Your Victories (Big and Small)
Every day that you wake up sober is a victory worth celebrating. Whether it's your first day home from the hospital without a drink or your baby's first smile, take the time to acknowledge and celebrate these milestones. Using substances limits your ability to connect and remember the enjoyable moments in life.
Actionable Takeaway: Keep a journal of your sobriety journey and write down your victories, no matter how small they may seem. Surround yourself with reminders of how far you've come and how strong you are. And most importantly, be proud of yourself for choosing sobriety for yourself and your family.
Navigating early motherhood while staying sober is no easy feat, but it's entirely possible with the right support, mindset, and coping strategies. Remember, you are not alone in this journey, and there is strength in vulnerability. By embracing your emotions, building a support system, practicing self-care, setting boundaries, and celebrating your victories, you can thrive as a sober mom and give your child the best possible start in life. You've got this, mama. And remember, one day at a time.
Need support as a new mom? Reach out to a mental health clinician for support and solutions.
Written by: Lynsey Retzlaff, MSW, LCSW is a mindset and mental wellness speaker, working mom coach, and licensed therapist. She is a mother of two and has over 10 years of experience in the mental health field. Through this experience, she has found joy in helping working mothers redefine, renew, and reclaim their journeys through The RENEWED Working Mom Narrative™ coaching program. Additionally, Lynsey provides therapy to women with high-functioning trauma and anxiety.
As a result of redefining her own life, she partners with companies on mental wellness solutions to address burnout that impacts the bottom line of every working person.
Lynsey's most notable features to date have been in the well-known Parade, Authority, Home & Gardens, & Canvas Rebel magazines, and her insights can be heard on multiple podcasts.
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